You knew it, I knew it, the whole world knew it: PhatPhuck had a problem. He was just too fucking fat. His biographies claimed that he weighed in at a twinkle-toed 400 pounds, but just one look at the massive Latino wrestling super-sensation and you knew better. PhatPhuck was, in fact, 700 pounds of fun-loving mischief. His handlers had sent him to fat camp for a summer, where he lost 100 pounds, only to find it again upon returning home. The other day I heard someone say "I gain weight just looking at cheesecake"; this psychokinetic obesity may have been the heart of PhatPhuck's problems.

Doctors "Mad Dog" and "Scorpion", ready to embark on another terrifying voyage in the name of health and beauty.

For PhatPhuck, the last straw came during a telephone chat with old family friend and personal confidante, Larry Benedict. Benedict, a New York-area lawyer, expressed his disgust at Phatty's size, and challenged the slug to "get off [his] economy-sized ass" and take active steps towards improving his health and appearance. Phat took the insults "good- naturedly" until Benedict's comment that no one in his family would "be so stupid". At this point, Phat Ass exploded, and demanded that he receive more radical treatment.

For many years, lard asses "in the know" had relied upon a dangerous and obscure weight maintenance method: shrinking commandos to micro-size and flying them directly into the body, where they blast away fat from within. Despite the risks to both doctors and patient, it was decided that the time had come to send PhatPhuck to the Red Falcon clinic, where he would be slimmed down to a more acceptable, but attainable, Biggie Smalls or Elephant Man size.

A dramatization of the fateful conversation that ultimately led to PhatPhuck's demise.

And now, the photos of the operation that only Bad.Mojo could bring you. Viewers with weak stomachs should not continue further.

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Dr. Scorpion's insertion went without a hitch; PhatPhuck could and regularly did swallow objects six times the size of his own head. Problems began, however, when Phatty seized a couple of Steak & Ale mints from a nearby purse and shoveled them into his mouth, wrappers and all.

Here we see the long-term effects of consuming one's own weight in fried foods daily. An ordinary human body, despite all efforts, will not be able to eat as much as PhatPhuck -- his body had evolved extra mouths in unlikely places to facilitate the consumption process. Also shown are a couple of stray shrimp scampi.

This photo explains Phat Cat's resilience, physical toughness and, to some degree, amazing mass. The fat in his body had begun to harden and form solid, chitinous walls. It is speculated that with this layer of natural armor, he could withstand a direct blast from a Howitzer. Also shown: more mouths, vomiting bits of undigested Moon Pie at Dr. Scorpion.

After hours of blasting away hardened fat deposits all over Phat's body, Dr. Scorpion reached the enlarged heart. At the time of the operation, it was not known that the heart was enlarged to this extent, nor was it known that spawning pods had sprung up around the cardiac cavity. Dr. Scorpion was forced to defend himself with the fat-cutting laser, which may have hastened PhatAss's demise.

Every good doctor knows that when a patient's internal organs begin to flash and shoot fireballs, it's time to abandon the operation. Dr. Scorpion is no exception, and is shown here fleeing for his life.

The laser had sent PhatPhuck's heart into convulsions, and the massive amounts of blood being pumped through the anime pervert's body at an extremely high pressure boiled through his skin and made his head explode. It is clear from Phatty's expression that even in his last moments he had no idea just what the hell was going on.